Trans Microaggresions

theprisminitiative
Apr 20, 2021
7 min read

TW // mentions of su*c*de, transphobia, homophobia, racism, fetishization of trans, slurs, s*lf h*am

What are Microaggressions?

Microaggressions are subtle discriminatory or derogatory words, phrases, or actions that invalidate a person or marginalized group of people. Although usually unintentional or unknown to those who say them, they can occur almost anywhere from the workplace, at a doctor’s office, or at a friend’s house. Likewise, microaggressions aren’t limited to one group of people, including parents, friends, teachers, and strangers. These are different from macroaggressions which are explicit and intentional attempts to invalidate or offend someone on the basis of their marginalized identity.

Microaggressions can be further broken down into two subcategories, microinsults and microinvalidations. A microinsult is a phrase or an action that makes a person feel as if their identity is a drawback or a challenge to overcome.

On the other hand, microinvalidation refers to behaviors or statements that cause someone to question the validity of themself. Microinvalidations often either put down the person of a marginalized group or exclude them from the discussion.

While one microinsult or microinvalidation may not harm a trans person, the build-up of microaggressions over time may lead to feelings of being misunderstood, invalid, as well as an overall poor state of mental health .

Examples of Microaggressions

Some common examples of microaggressions towards trans people include:

“You’re too pretty to be trans.”
“Have you had the surgery?”
“I never would have guessed you were trans!”
“What’s your real name?”
“What are your preferred pronouns?”
“How do you have s*x?”
“What’s your sexuality? Aren’t you straight because you were born a boy?”
“Trans people are the best of best worlds.”
“You turned out so beautiful!”
“Do you still get your period? Are you going to get pregnant?”
“When are you going to decide?” (In reference to labels under the non-binary umbrella)
“But you look like a girl/boy.”

Other acts of microaggression include using offensive slurs such as “tr*nny,” “snowflake,” “she-he,” and “he-she”. Fetishizing or finding trans identities as exotic or using them as a sexual experiment is another harmful microaggression, bordering on being a macroaggression. Another example of microaggressions includes continuously using wrong pronouns or gendering a group such as, “Hello gentlemen/ladies'' despite having knowledge that one person in the group doesn’t fit into the generalization.

Why do Microaggressions Happen?

Microaggressions can be said with genuine kindness or curiosity. However, they can commonly result as people giving “despite” statements, “despite being trans'' or “even though you’re trans,” implying that being trans is an obstacle that one must overcome. Additionally, people are often unaware that their statements are transphobic. These also lead to people dehumanizing trans people, confirming that cisgender people are more valid than transgender people in the microagrressors’ mind. Some studies have shown the existence of “gender entitlement,” the belief that a cisgender person knows more about the trans person than the person themself, leading them to ask about their “real identity” or “real name.” It’s one form of invalidation that may be hard to notice but especially harmful since it can fuel dysphoria.

Why are They Harmful?

Microaggressions are harmful since they force people to feel like they need to pass instead of expressing themselves in the way that brings them the most joy. Additionally, microaggressions often happen repeatedly. They may happen daily over the course of a person’s lifetime, piling up and leading to severe consequences. The Journal of LGBT Youth labeled microaggressions as a “death by a thousand cuts.” The buildup of microaggressions can in fact lead to death as the risk of suicide increases. Other responses include lower levels of self-esteem, depression, anxiety, feelings of exclusion or otherness, anger, and hopelessness.

Additionally, it can worsen the effects of dysphoria due to the invalidation that hides behind the microaggressions. There are three types of dysphoria: mind, body, and social. Microaggressions, whether it's in one instance or many over a certain period of time, can heighten the symptoms of dysphoria.

Mind dysphoria is when a person’s thoughts don't align with the gender they identify as. It often comes when they feel as if they aren’t a “real” girl or “real” boy. These feelings of doubting one's identity are exacerbated with microaggressions, such as when someone asks for their “real name” or “preferred” pronouns. One key distinction to make is that there’s nothing wrong with asking for someone’s name, however, it is heavily transphobic to ask for their “real name” or deadname, since that isn’t their true name. Additionally, there’s nothing wrong with asking for a person’s pronouns, in fact, it’s highly encouraged to ask in order to support the trans community. The problem comes when someone adds the word “preferred” in front, indicating that they aren’t real pronouns and that it isn’t mandatory to use the correct ones.

A second example of mind dysphoria is when one questions the sexuality of a trans person. If someone asked a trans lesbian, “Aren’t you straight since you were born a boy?” it tells the trans person that the person sees them as the gender they were assigned at birth rather than the gender they actually are. If a woman says she’s a lesbian, she’s a lesbian regardless of what gender she was assigned at birth.

Another type of dysphoria is body dysphoria which is when the features of a person’s body don’t match the gender they identify as in ways such as height, breasts, hormones, genitals, and hair. Microaggressions that ask, “Have you had surgery?” are not only invasive but also may bring up dysphoria. It may also make the person feel as if they have to pass or have the surgery in order to be a valid trans person which isn’t true. Asking about how a trans person has s*x, whether or not they have a period, or if they will get pregnant is not only invasive but perpetuates those feelings of invalidity.

However, the most common type of body dysphoria-related microaggressions is asking whether or not a person has female or male sex organs. Knowing if a trans person has certain genitalia is knowledge that doesn’t need to be shared with anyone unless the person gives permission.

The final type of dysphoria is social dysphoria,discomfort when people perceive them as the wrong gender. Phrases such as “You’re too pretty to be trans” and “You turned out so pretty” further the societal expectation that men or women must look a certain way and that prior to transitioning, they weren’t as worthy or deserving of praise.

One of the most harmful forms of social dysphoria microaggressions is telling someone, “but you look like a girl/boy.” This is a direct microinvalidation that, although the intention may not have been to invalidate someone, the effect is that the person feels as if they don’t pass.

Do Microaggressions Affect Other Minorities?

Yes, microaggressions are not limited to trans people. People of color are often victims of microaggressions in addition to trans people. A microinsult towards a person of color may include a white woman crossing the street to avoid a black man. This assumes that the person is dangerous due to his race and gender. A microinvalidation towards a person of color may result when someone compliments an Asian person on their English, despite it being their first language. The language a person speaks isn’t correlated to their skin color and although they may be trying to compliment the person, it ends up coming off as offensive, inferring that an Asian person’s English isn’t always good, even if it's their first language.

Microaggressions can also affect gay, lesbian, bi, or other labels of people in the LGBTQ+ community. When a person comes out, some responses fueled by microaggressions may be, “I had a gay phase when I was your age,” or, “You don’t have a crush on me, right?” Bringing up the idea that being gay is a phase invalidates the struggle LGBTQ+ youth may go through trying to figure out the best label that fits their attraction, doubting the validity or legitimacy of their attraction. Additionally, assuming that a lesbian is attracted to all women or a gay man is attracted to all men is harmful, leading to a sense of otherness since people don’t assume that all straight men are attracted to all women and vice versa.

Trans POC Are Disproportionately Affected

Trans POC are affected by microaggressions far more than most due to them receiving trans as well as POC microaggressions. If they identify as gay, bi, or a lesbian, they may also receive the microaggressions that come with being gay. This increases the likelihood of mental health disorders related to feelings of being put down and constant invalidation. It also significantly increases the risk of a person turning to alcohol or self-harm as coping mechanisms. Trans POC are also at an extremely high risk of depression which may lead to suicidal thoughts and ideation.

Preventing Microaggressions

A large number of people are guilty of microaggressions, you yourself might have unknowingly used a microaggression to another person. However, we can prevent the use of microaggressions by bringing awareness to what a microaggression is and calling out others if they use them . Additionally, one should respect a person’s privacy and emotions by avoiding invasive questions, calling trans people by their real name and real pronouns, as well as avoiding phrases such as, “for a trans person,” “turned out…” and “I never would have guessed you were trans”. By being respectful you can give meaningful and thoughtful compliments rather than the malice hidden behind microaggressions.

Sources:

Credits

Research/Writing/Script - Bri Newton

Trans Microaggresions

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